Ruins of my heart…

I was never skilled at building

But I had bricks of love and care

I laid them one upon another

Tried so hard to build it strong

It withstood tempests, violent

And rage of deadly quakes

I thought we all made it solid enough

Poor heart! It didn’t have an inkling

That a single blow could break down

What years took to build

That ties of friendship

could ever become a burden

That memories can turn to be

Doorway to intense torment

I look at the fallen bricks,

Of love and affection

Debased and dishonoured, the bricks

Affected with mosses, look at me

The building is no more

Nor the emotions, so pure

Ruins adorn each one’s mind

The strings have broken

Despite all my efforts

Pretension has become our defence mechanism

Haunted by the times so good

Each memory perishes never to return


Hey there, how are you all doing?

I had written this poem a few months ago, out of sadness when I was having trouble with my friends which led to a broken friendship with a three of my friends.

Don’t you think, at times, we should let things go and move on?

Thank you for reading ๐Ÿ˜Š


If you want to share any suggestion, opinion or feelings with me, please feel free to do so in the comment section.

ยฉTryst with Mind-06/07/2019

124 thoughts on “Ruins of my heart…

    1. Thank you so much Lillian. Your constant support is everything I can ask for. And also thank you for understanding me. We let go of a lot of things everyday, why not negativity and complexity?
      Have a nice week ahead. Love for you โค๏ธ

      Liked by 1 person

  1. I can understand coz you know I faced somewhat similar to it. But I would like to say ” Trust the Processes ” what happens, happens for good. Letting go is maybe what we should all learn now. Time , I think is the best medicine that can succumb to your pain.**hugss**๐Ÿค—๐Ÿค—๐Ÿค—๐Ÿค—๐Ÿค—๐Ÿค—๐Ÿ’•๐Ÿ’•๐Ÿ’•๐Ÿ’•๐Ÿ’•๐Ÿ’•๐Ÿ’•๐Ÿ’•

    Liked by 4 people

    1. Yes you can obviously understand because you faced similar situations. I know I should have faith in what’s going on and what’s happening. I am a strong believer in destiny you know. Thank you so much for being my constant support and an amazing friend. Love youโค๏ธ

      Liked by 1 person

  2. Hey Ramyani! The poem is beautiful! ๐Ÿ’›
    I have gone through a similar drama with my friends when I was in 12th. There is always a girl in the group who is the drama queen. She behaves like the world revolves around her. She gets everyone in trouble for something she did. It was after 12th that I started moving away from people who hurt me. It’s a good decision for you to move away from your friend, as she was causing you unnecessary pain.
    I have a very small friends circle too, and I’ve kept it that way because I can’t stand most people because of their drama. ๐Ÿ˜๐Ÿ™ˆ
    Don’t worry, moving away is tough, but it’s better for your mental health than staying with someone who puts you through hell. โ˜บ๏ธ Hugs! ๐Ÿค—๐Ÿ’›

    Liked by 3 people

    1. I agree with you. I feel sad that you had to face similar situation in such a crucial year of the school life. I know these kind of girls, drama queens. They make things so complicated that it gets so difficult. It’s best to stay away from them. I am trying to concentrate on my studies and there she is, always succeeding in distracting me so much so I am not able to perform well. It was really necessary for my mental health, as you say.
      Thank you for understanding me. It’s difficult but it was necessary and I don’t think it will make me really heartless if I say that now I am relieved that she is gone.
      Thank you so much for your support and kind words. It means a lot to me๐Ÿค—โค๏ธ

      Liked by 1 person

      1. Drama “Kings” are in this world for even 28+ years and you believe he is a trustworthy friend and when you get to recognise their “true colours” in the end and it is indeed extremely painful to the heart but you are mature enough to understand at this stage that it is detachment/renunciation that brings ultimate happiness and not resentment or revenge because no one can stop, withstand or encounter one’s own karma! Life is indeed very short and these things will hinder our real pursuits!

        https://rajinikanthv.wordpress.com/2018/02/07/destiny-karma-and-renunciation/
        Thank you,
        Rajini

        Liked by 1 person

  3. Love this๐Ÿ˜Ramyani, so beautifully written and I think you already know my stance on the friend thing. Good for you, ditching the toxic’s in your life, they will only bring you down, you deserve so much more. I know it’s tough, but there’s a brighter horizon ahead of you๐ŸŒ„I am certain of that๐Ÿค—๐Ÿ’œ๐Ÿ’•

    Liked by 3 people

    1. Thank you so much to always support me and understand me. You faced something very similar and it has become so common now. No one knows how to be a good, ‘real’ friend. It’s necessary to let go of the toxic people. I am much better now, without her.
      Have a nice weak ahead and take care if yourself. I hope you are also alright ๐Ÿ™‚โค๏ธ

      Liked by 1 person

  4. The beautiful thing is that even though things break we can with our willpower join them back together. Very emotional poetry. Loved it. The image of the ruins too, I think I’ve seen that in a game (can’t remember the name). Keep going ๐Ÿ‘๐Ÿ‘

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Yes, eventually things join but I don’t know if I want to join it in future. You know somethings in life are gone forever. But I don’t know the awaiting future
      Thank you so much for your kind words. I took the picture from Google perhaps, I don’t remember because it was months ago๐Ÿ™‚

      Liked by 1 person

  5. I’m going to play the part of the old grandma and say, In years to come you’ll realise growing required lots of changes, some easy, some welcome, some painful, some that stay in the memory forever. But one this is certain, you don’t get anywhere by holding on to what’s outworn. ๐Ÿ™‚

    Liked by 4 people

    1. Wow. I absolutely love what you said. I will write this down in my diary and read this everyday because this sums up the pains and joys of growing up but it is all worth it. It’s futile to live in the past
      Thank you so much for your wise words, it lifted my mood in a second โค๏ธ

      Liked by 1 person

      1. I dip my head in acceptance of your words. But it is true, the older you age, the longer you’ve lived, the more you’ve seen… and hopefully the more you’ve pondered on it and learned the lessons… the more you can pass on to the generations to come.

        Liked by 2 people

      2. True. All species of life also reproduce! How about character and morality. it is getting slowly lost so we are getting degraded.to the status of animals and will get finally extinct with our “superior intelligence ” of fighting and killing among ourselves (which we are already experts in that! ๐Ÿ˜ฆ !)which other species of life don’t know to do!!!

        Liked by 1 person

      3. My point is that, once the imperative to breed is done, this is what keeps we humans living so long. We are the only species to continue life beyond our lives of reproductive fertility. Why? So we oldens might help the younguns along, and thus extend our species’ viability. And you might note, it tends to be the more mature specimens who time and again, argue for peace.

        Liked by 1 person

      4. This is often the problem. We assume the other person knows where we’re coming from. We assume a common base. But that was never the case when we lived in small, close-knit communities. Now, with a global culture…?

        Liked by 2 people

      5. True… you are so right… what of global culture….we often find husband.. wife father…son neighbour.. neighbour getting misinterpreted because of collision of interests often leading to difficulty in reconciliation and settlement and when this happens in the long run results in strained relationships! One sided reconciliation all the time doesn’t result in peaceful end and amicable atmosphere and in the end what Ramyani did got to be a sensible decision… just let it go and live in peace for the rest of the life… will all the nice things that God offers.

        Liked by 2 people

  6. This is poignant, beautifully weaved together Ramyani!
    I can understand what you must be going through, it’s difficult to forget them, the more you try to forget the more the memories keep flashing and replaying, but then all we can do is let them flow.
    For after this painful or sad event one shall discover the happiness someday, right?
    I’m no expert in this field, but all these experiences in life teach you something valuable always, that’s something I realized.
    You have a strong will and a beautiful soul, Ramyani!
    Wish the best for you!๐Ÿ’•๐Ÿ˜Š

    Liked by 4 people

    1. I have met so many beautiful people in this platform and you are one of them. Your words mean so much to me. It’s difficult, really. When you try to actually mediate but all you receive us disrespect and rudeness. It was pulling me down and it wasn’t worth the efforts. We need to let go of the negativity because we can’t grow if we are negative and stressed.
      Every incident in life teaches us,as you said and this taught me to respect and love myself first, then others.
      Thank you so much for reading. I love to interact with youโค๏ธ๐Ÿ˜ƒ

      Liked by 2 people

  7. So emotional and so deep, describing a problem we face on daily basis, how we lose people and how we struggle with misunderstanding and conflicts…sometimes we think our building is on a very strong foundation and then one blow of wind, itโ€™s destroyed!
    Because some buildings donโ€™t only depend on us, some other pillars are not ours!
    About me, I donโ€™t give opinion on a one side story, and for me sometimes thereโ€™s no right and wrong, some people are not compatible together thatโ€™s it
    Some people can think youโ€™re nasty and you didnโ€™t say anything offensive! It depends how much people click, how much chemistry they have, and hoe intellectually are close
    Loved the poem and I would recommend you share your poem without explanation and then the explanation can be a separate beautiful post (personal opinion)
    Have a great time ๐Ÿ’•๐Ÿ˜Š

    Liked by 3 people

    1. Yes. I tried to portray what I felt. It was strong a few years ago but as you rightly said misunderstandings, ego and conflicts happened and they somehow weighed much nore than the love we once shared. I personally think I made a lot of efforts and it hurts how things turned up. I agree with you that some pillars are not ours..
      I understand that you can’t judge and no one should judge by only hearing one side of the story. I just wrote what I felt and I accepted that I made a mistake and what she was telling was actually very right. But I don’t think that my wrong was so big that we all can’t move on… Just my opinion.
      Yes you are right there. I should have written a separate post for the poem and my experience. You know, I am just learning how to blog and I thought they match the topic that’s why..๐Ÿ˜…
      Thank you for the suggestion. I would follow in my upcoming posts.

      Liked by 1 person

      1. Oh no itโ€™s not about more experience in blogging or so, itโ€™s totally up to you how to post, I just thought that people should imagine what happened or so…itโ€™s always up to you ๐Ÿ˜Š
        I got your position in this story and I understood it as well, my words donโ€™t mean you are not right, it means some people are not meant to be together, they are not compatible…
        Good luck and all our stories are lessons and experiences ๐Ÿ‘๐Ÿ‘

        Liked by 1 person

      2. I agree with you completely that some people are just not compatible. And we may try to solve the problem, but it may seem impossible because no one wants to compromise. No one is right or wrong, actually this is what happened with me.
        I like your idea to make separate posts and I would do the same from next time๐Ÿ˜Š
        Thank you so much Huguette for understanding meโค๏ธ It means a lot๐Ÿ™‚

        Liked by 1 person

  8. I know what you mean completely… obviously o do…..but yah whatever happens happens for good and this time you chose your own good ….sometime back when you were afraid to lose friends you were weak but now you are strong and mautre enough to take your own side and loo for your own good at such times…..and yah all the thanks goes to her she made you this tough she made you the strongest of all….thanks A. But you will be now happier than ever as.you took the decision for well being sake. Be happy stay strong stay happy someone is always there to hold u when u fall๐Ÿ˜Š๐Ÿ˜Š.

    Liked by 3 people

    1. Yes. Mustafa, you are the reason I don’t feel absolutely helpless, because I know that come what may, you will never leave me. Yes, she made me super strong and now I will give my all to rise so strong that no one can break me. I am actually happy. I am๐Ÿค—โค๏ธ

      Like

  9. Hello my dear sister,
    It’s astounding to see that I can recognise a reflection of the past me in you right now.This letter that I am writing in the comment section is not only to Ramayani,but also the girl I was.I know bonu you might be feeling sad,and it’s fine to miss someone or that beautiful sun-coloured thing you had and not going back to the same fiasco.Sometimes people hurt us beyond limit because maybe it’s god’s sign to let them go.Regerts will always be there until one day somebody would come in your life who can fanthom your sadness even before the tears have escaped your eyes.There are better things waiting for us if we allowed us to let go of friend’s who make our heart ache.Letting go is tough,but I hope that once you walk away,you walk away completely.There is no point holding on to friends that doesn’t care for you,love you the way you should be loved.
    Never compromise.
    You are a wildflower.You deserve friends that loves you to bits.
    With love and hugs,
    Your didi.

    Liked by 2 people

    1. Didi, ami janina ki bolle thik bhabe nijer emotions express korte parbo kintu I can say that your letter made me smile from within. We are weak and afraid at first but with time and experience we grow to be strong and I believe that if we let go of a negative thing, life will give us lots of new positive things and by holding on to the former, we will unintentionally prevent the better thing to come to us.
      You inspire me. You have grown up to be strong and firm and I am trying to be the same. We just have to have patience for the right people to come into our lives. We don’t have to fight for the people who are meant to stay.
      Letting go was tough, but if you say now, I am happy now, even I don’t feel any difference now, just imagine the kind of void and fake friendship we were having ๐Ÿ˜‚
      Thank you so much, jani thank you bolleo kom hbe kintu tao bolbo because tomar kotha gulo mon chue geloโค๏ธ
      Bhalo theko!

      Like

  10. About the poem: You always get success when you try to express something through words, and this time to its a genuine feeling, something which you experienced, so the poem is just heaven! i was completely emotional when i read it. you did a marvellous job.

    and then about this, people do commit mistakes, thats why we are humans and not gods, and it is true that sometime we speak many things in the heat of the moment but we dont really mean them, and if someone is holding on to those words and misinterpreting them, then they are kicking an axe with foot. they themselves are choosing the pain they are suffering from. moving on is the most important thing and the end matters, what happened in between doesnt matter.

    the bricks which get old are better to be replaced or else the whole building may fall. so what if the old bricks are fallen, new bricks are waiting to be a part of the building! and believe me these bricks will never get worse.
    I am the happiest person on earth to see how you chose yourself over anything else and that is important too. one shouldnt compromise self-respect and self happiness. letting people go is very painful but you know holding thorn can make you injured so its better to let go. and its all the part of the great circle of life, “JIVAN CHAKRA” remember???
    “We will stand by your side,
    Filled with hope and filled with pride,
    we are more than we are,
    we are one”
    ๐Ÿ™‚ ๐Ÿ™‚

    And whenever you feel anything like this just remember, I am always there standing by everything you face, no matter what. just you wont have to face anything alone. ๐Ÿ™‚ โค
    Keep smiling! it suits you! never lose it! it's very precious!

    Liked by 2 people

    1. If I say I am grateful to have a friend like you, would be less because you are truly amazing. The poem just came out of me when I was so sad and that explains the melancholy.
      Yes, I agree with you. We are afterall humans, and not perfect human beings like the Buddha. I understand I say lots of hurtful things when I am angry but I will say, not boasting that I take care everytime not to hurt the other person.
      We should always choose ourselves and our self respect over others. Because as my father said a few days ago, that friends may even come back but if you lose your self respect in front of yourself,it will never come back.
      You symbolised the perfect situation in bricks. In order to save the building and make it strong and tall, I have decided to let the stale bricks fall down.
      Jivan chakra, I remember it so well๐Ÿค—
      And I know you will be always there for me. Likewise you will always find me there by your sideโค๏ธ

      Like

  11. O dear! Finally I know what you were referring to when you said you’re feeling weird these days. You know you have to write to me about all this whenever you’re ready. I’m kinda having mixed feelings right now… feeling really bad on knowing what happened. I can’t even imagine how you must be feeling after all this but at the same time I’m really proud that you finally prioritised yourself and thought for your peace of mind. I know how hard it must’ve been for you to take that step but you still did. I’m so proud of you! โค
    And this poem is so deep and beautiful. You know what?You’re really good with words and that’s one of the many things I love about you. ๐Ÿ˜˜๐Ÿ’–
    Much love to you๐Ÿ’•

    Liked by 2 people

    1. Yeah I was speaking of this plus there are a lot of other small things that got into my head. I will tell you everything you know that, very soon. I was a little busy because my exam starts from 16th and I am lost now๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚
      Yes, my peace of mind is the most necessary and you know I am happier now, so much so I don’t feel any difference now that she is gone. I used to feel that some months ago, now I don’t really think so.
      Thank you for your support, for being my human-diary, for being the best didi or friend rather?
      I love you soo much, it’s beautiful that we can love and connect with the people miles away!๐Ÿค—๐Ÿ’–

      Like

  12. Hello Ramyani, first i read the poem, and after reading explanation, i can understand the poem better, remember me of high school, meaningful poem, i can feel each word and relate in to it. We are people and we do mistakes, as long as you admit and you can say sorry from you heart i think its okay to make mistakesโค๏ธ, people who want to stay in your life they always will, people who care and who truly love you, hugs:)

    Liked by 2 people

    1. Yes, Ilona dear, you spoke my heart. We are only proving to be humans afterall when we make mistakes. And I think I have apologized from the bottom of my heart and ensured that I will never commit this mistake again, as of this, what can I do more? Is it not best to move on?
      I know it was some kind of sign to let her go and wait for someone new to enter my life. Thank you for being here. It means a lot to me, much more than you can imagine ๐Ÿ™‚
      I hope you are doing well. Love to you!๐Ÿ’–๐Ÿค—

      Liked by 1 person

  13. You did your part, it’s up to her. If she walks away, it’s her lost. Or maybe one day she will have a change of heart and will come back to you. Friends will come and go. Only a few will really stays. Years from now you will realize that the one that sticks around are the only ones that matters. You don’t need that much, you just need one or two true ones.

    Liked by 2 people

    1. Sorry for the delay dear and yes, you are absolutely right. It’s actually her loss because I am a person who values her friends, rather a little too much. But now I know that the ones who are not meant to stay, will eventually go away, however the silly the reason might seem. Thank you for understanding me. I am grateful โ˜บ๏ธ
      Hope you are doing well!

      Liked by 1 person

  14. First of all poem is excellent. Secondly, every transition period is difficult to tolerate. Then slowly, pain of transition period goes away. Hope, now you are fine. Your decision is right. Best wishes dear

    Liked by 2 people

    1. Thank you so much for understanding and supporting me. It was painful, yes. Maybe I am feeling a little pain even now, because it was 6 years of friendship but somewhere I have made my peace with it. All is okay now.
      Hope you are doing well too๐Ÿ’– and I am so sorry I am replying so late๐Ÿ˜…

      Like

  15. I am sorry to hear you have been suffering, Ramyani. It is probably of little enough consolation to you that you have written a beautiful poem because of it.

    “Donโ€™t you think, at times, we should let things go and move on? ”

    You ask a vital question, and so I have been thinking about it for a few minutes now because it deserves a careful answer. I think the best answer I can think of is this: If we do not sometimes let go of some things — such as toxic friends — we never grow. And if we do not grow, we never become happy. That has been my experience. I cannot speak for others.

    I wish you the best and I hope things have gotten better for you by the time you read this.

    Liked by 2 people

    1. Things are now better. Thank you Paul for everything. It is indeed a consolation that pain did bring out the best in me. It was painful because it was 6 years of friendship and I lost almost two friends due to this issue, and I don’t talk with another two as freely as I used to because they never understood me. I was hurt but you are very very right.
      If I didn’t ket go of her toxicity I would never be happy. Thank you for understanding me.
      And I am so sorry I didn’t mail you for so long. Exams are going on, moreover. I apologize from the bottom of my heart๐Ÿ˜”

      Liked by 1 person

      1. My dear friend, there is no need to apologize. Exams absolutely must come first, and it is quite understandable that you did not want to write while you were going through all of that.

        I can imagine how tough it must be to lose friends when you have just started with a new school where you don’t know anyone yet. I think you did the right thing though, and that is what will matter in the long run.

        Best wishes for good marks on your exams!

        Liked by 1 person

      2. It was tough and it still is. I don’t act well and I prefer to say the truth and that doesn’t let me be fake and smile around with people who don’t care about me. But I have learnt to be strong and that it is all a process of my development. My exams will end on 23rd. I will write to you soon after that ๐Ÿ™‚
        Thank you for your wishes!

        Like

    1. Thank you so much. It is difficult but sometimes very very necessary. It is painful but somewhere I know it’s for the best. Life is too short to hold on to things that don’t matter. I am happier nowโ˜บ๏ธ
      I hope you are doing well!

      Like

  16. Good friendship will help us to overcome the problems that is happening in our life. I am so thankfull to my friends because they helped me to overcome the the tragidy that has happend in my life(when my mother has passed away) but when the time passed we all started to go our own ways. Certain misunderstandings also arised between us and it led to loose the intensity of our friendship… I believe all these things are part of life

    Liked by 1 person

    1. I am so sorry to hear that Mathew. I hope you are alright now.
      Losing people are a part of life and likewise, new people will always greet us in the course. I hope things go well with you๐Ÿ™‚

      Like

      1. As time passes we all move forward with our life.. We didnt realise the value of the people who has lost. But in certain situations it revels the reality and we have face this alone… but I consider all these experiences as part of life…. I have realised how valuable our relations are

        Liked by 1 person

      2. Relationships are valuable and that is why sometimes we compromise and let go of certain bitter things to save the relation, but on the other hand, what is not meant will not remain.. ๐Ÿ™‚

        Like

  17. Don’t worry Ramyani, every friendship has a possibility to break. Tomorrow or day the after tomorrow if she is a true friend she would come back! Whatever happens that is for your good! ๐Ÿ’™๐ŸŒธ

    Liked by 2 people

    1. Thank you so much dear for understanding me and for your kind words. Friends can leave and new people can eventually come into our lives. I don’t know if she will come back because as far I know, she is too proud to do that, she values her ego more but it doesn’t matter because I know in my heart that I did what I could and I am happier now โ˜บ๏ธ

      Like

    1. I am genuinely very happy that you agree with me and think that I did the right thing. I did all I could and when it got really harmful for me, I had to retreat. Thank you for reading and understanding me. It means a lot!โ˜บ๏ธ

      Liked by 1 person

  18. A sincere apology and a commitment not to do it again is all you can offer if you are in the wrong in a friendship. It’s hard to see one come to an end, but you can also make some new ones. It’s never the end of the world when the tower you build comes crashing down. I loved your poem, by the way. Take care.

    Liked by 2 people

    1. Exactly my point. I sincerely apologized when everything was not my fault. I now think that she needed an excuse to end the friendship. It’s still painful but I also made some great friends and they are better I think.
      Thank you so much for understanding me and stopping byโ˜บ๏ธโค๏ธ

      Liked by 1 person

    1. I agree with you. Loss of good friends is tough but sometimes it’s just a refining process and I try to accept that what has happened is for the best.
      Thank you for stopping by, your support and concern means a lot to me. I am alright now. I hope you are doing well tooโ˜บ๏ธโค๏ธ

      Liked by 1 person

  19. Ramyani, your poem relates effectively to your situation. I could feel the pain as you used a metaphor with the ruined and broken house. You are correct about the need to move on. Some people have difficulty moving on because they can’t humble themselves to let go.

    Liked by 2 people

    1. I am so sorry Richard. I didn’t see this comment or else I would have replied. You are right. But we need to move on for greater peace of mind, to be truly happy. It isn’t really easy as you of course know, because you are much older and wiser but I just got to know a few months back. It was tough but all is well now. Sometimes I just tend to think what could have been but in general, I am happy and that’s what matters๐Ÿ˜Š

      Like

  20. Hi there just wanted to give you a brief heads up and let you know a few of the images aren’t loading properly. I’m not sure why but I think its a linking issue. I’ve tried it in two different browsers and both show the same results.

    Liked by 1 person

  21. Does your website have a contact page? I’m having problems locating it but, I’d like to send you an email. I’ve got some recommendations for your blog you might be interested in hearing. Either way, great website and I look forward to seeing it expand over time.

    Like

  22. Iโ€™m impressed, I have to admit. Rarely do I come across a blog thatโ€™s both equally educative and interesting, and let me tell you, you have hit the nail on the head. The issue is an issue that too few folks are speaking intelligently about. I’m very happy that I stumbled across this in my hunt for something relating to this.

    Liked by 1 person

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