I was never skilled at building
But I had bricks of love and care
I laid them one upon another
Tried so hard to build it strong
It withstood tempests, violent
And rage of deadly quakes
I thought we all made it solid enough
Poor heart! It didn’t have an inkling
That a single blow could break down
What years took to build
That ties of friendship
could ever become a burden
That memories can turn to be
Doorway to intense torment
I look at the fallen bricks,
Of love and affection
Debased and dishonoured, the bricks
Affected with mosses, look at me
The building is no more
Nor the emotions, so pure
Ruins adorn each one’s mind
The strings have broken
Despite all my efforts
Pretension has become our defence mechanism
Haunted by the times so good
Each memory perishes never to return
Hey there, how are you all doing?
I had written this poem a few months ago, out of sadness when I was having trouble with my friends.
As you all might be following, I changed my school in class 11 and my old friend circle was clearly divided into two, when I left, as if I was the glue that held them together. I had maintained a steady contact with all of the five people but they didn’t talk much with each other and it was no one’s fault.
Maybe the division had happened quite a long time ago, but most of the things are not visible at the apparent level, just like people can really seem happy on the outside but can be dieing inside.
The day before yesterday, I lost a friend. Well, it would be best put if I say that she lost me because I was willing to move on and let go of all the things that happened, but she wasn’t ready to do so. I wouldn’t explain everything that happened because it is too complex, it’s just that I made a mistake(I hurt someone else unintentionally and I was NOT the only one at fault) and I apologized.
Who doesn’t make mistakes in their lifetime? But the actual problem was not with her and she was quarreling with me unnecessarily. I tried to take that lightly to let it pass but day by day she became more and more accusing and dominating. She complicated things up. She held on to every word I ever said and interpret it in her own way and asked for explanations. Everyone was willing to move on except her. I felt suffocated. I was held accountable for things I didn’t mean. I just couldn’t go on.
I prioritized myself and my mental peace. I am not afraid of losing toxic people for the sake of myself. Once,I was too weak to let people go and I used to compromise to make them stay because I barely have a handful of friends, but not anymore. I think, I am better without her. The last days with her was so depressing.She was obsessed with the past which I wanted to let go.
Don’t you think, at times, we should let things go and move on?
The fact that it hurts so much is because she used to be very close, once,we were even best friends.
I don’t know what this feeling is. I didn’t know that letting people go is so tough. While I know this happened for the best, but I feel so sad at the turn of events.
The memories flash across my mind and all the possibilities that could have happened (but are impossible now) are most difficult to bear.
It was kind of a mutual decision to break friendship but I didn’t want this to happen.
I wish she could understand but now I am too concerned about myself to care. Somewhere I am happy…
It’s better to not have a friend than to have one who holds on to problems and doesn’t stand up by your side at your low times.
Anyway, thank you for reading. I couldn’t help sharing this with you all 😊
If you want to share any suggestion, opinion or feelings with me, please fell free to do so in the comment section.
©Tryst with mind